Ask Laci: Bullied for Being Bisexual

Dear Laci,
I’m only 13 but i know a lot for my age. this year I found out about myself that I’m Bisexual.  When I told my parents they laughed at me and said that I didn’t know what bisexual meant and I do but they wouldn’t listen. and ever since I told them its all going down hill.  I get picked on 24/7 in school by almost everyone.  I only have 12 friends out of like 305 and most my friends get picked on for hanging out with me so I’m slowly losing them. some of my friends thought it was awesome and copied me and now they get picked on it feels like my fault.  I tell myself every day it’ll get better but it just get worse and I just cant take it anymore.  I need some ones advice.  Got any?
Sincerly, H.

Hey H!

Wow, that is so lame that people are bullying you for coming out as bi.  It just goes to show how scared they are of anyone that is different than them.  I am really concerned when you say you’re being picked on 24/7.  That’s not cool and nobody should have to deal with that!  There are a few things you and your friends can do to handle this.

The first one is to stand up to these bullies.  Think about the types of things they’re saying and have a talk with your friends about some responses you could give to defend yourself.  This will also help to unite your friends together so that they don’t get picked off by the bullies.  Stay strong and have each others’ back!  If you need help coming up with what to say, you can email me the types of things they’re saying and I can help you brainstorm.

If standing up to them doesn’t make them back down or if it gets worse, it’s time to tell your school administrators.  Visit the front office before or after school and tell them you have an issue you need help with.  Your administrators should take the appropriate steps to handle the bullying.

You can also contact an organization called The Trevor Project.  They help LGBT youth deal with bullying and do a lot of work around preventing suicide.  But you don’t need to be suicidal to get their help!  They have lots of resources that are relevant to you.  You can call their hotline 24/7 (1-866-488-7386) or you can just IM them http://www.thetrevorproject.org/lifelinechat

I know it seems like things are just going to keep slipping downhill, but believe it or not, it won’t always be like this.  Give it some time and stay active in defending yourself, whether that’s by standing up to them, getting help from adults in your life, or contacting Trevor.  Eventually, it will be resolved, and you won’t have to deal with bullying anymore.  There’s nothing wrong with being bi and you don’t deserve to be treated that way!  Try not to let them get to you, and if you’re having a bad day or feeling sad about it, find someone you trust to talk openly about it when you need to.

Sending you hugs and fierceness.

Laci

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One thought on “Ask Laci: Bullied for Being Bisexual

  1. Hi H!

    First off, be proud! You learned something about yourself that most people sometimes take half their life to figure out about themselves! As you get older, you’ll see more and more of your friends discovering what they are and chances are, you’ll find that you now have some straight friends, some gay friends, some bisexual friends and likely, some transgender friends. Just like the rest of us! As you’re a bit ahead of the curve, just the fact that you’re discovering your sexuality AT ALL is coming as the REAL surprise to your parents. It’s very likely NOT your orientation! I assure you, your parents will come around. If they don’t… And I would be SHOCKED… Please… H… know that IT’S NOT YOU. I would immediately suggest that you talk to your school counselor and have them help you find a progressive, unbiased, ‘gay friendly’ family counselor. Your parents might need a little help understanding your sexuality, how it helps define you as a person (and as their child) and even just a few sessions could do wonders for both you, your parents, and your family as a whole.

    Second, there is absolutely positively NOTHING wrong with you. Anyone who tells you or even suggests otherwise is NOT worth your time or your effort. You were born with ten fingers, ten toes, two arms and two legs AND you were born a bisexual. As you get older and into your late teens and early twenties you’ll find that your sexuality will have no bearing on your ability to make and keep long term meaningful friends. Right now, your friends and classmates just don’t have the maturity to properly understand your sexual orientation. Give them time and they will.

    I would also encourage you to seek out a LGBT or a similar group that you can go and join for meetings and discussions. You’ll be pleasantly surprised just how many people just like you are out there! If that’s not possible, seek out similar and age-appropiate alternatives online. Moderated chat rooms, blogs, boards, websites and the like are all wonderful tools for those that have just come out.

    Lastly… You need immediate help at school. You should feel comfortable and safe at all times, NO EXCEPTIONS! Gone are the days where any school will tolerate even a tiny bit of bullying, especially regarding sexuality. Laci was spot on with her suggestions, save the order that she gave them to you. You need to tell a trusted teacher or someone at your school FIRST. It’s their job to insure your health, safety and well being at school (and on school property) while you problem solve your situation. Often times when an individual tries to handle it on their own it only gets worse, not better. Seek the ear of an adult you trust at the school and you’ll not only get the help you need to feel comfortable at school but they’ll be an excellent resource for giving you anti-bullying tips and suggestions.

    Best wishes, H! Take care of yourself. :-)

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