I’ve been faking orgasms for years. Is it wrong?

a Naked Notion is featured on Twitter and on Facebook.  Like and follow us for info on a range of topics pertaining to sex and sexual health!

Honey, you’re not the only one.

Studies show 70-80% of women have faked an orgasm at some point, and some of these women fake regularly.  Unfortunately for men, 55% report they can’t tell when and if their partner is acting or experiencing the real thing.

Women aren’t the only fibbers. The University of Kansas found 25-30% of men had faked an orgasm in the past.  It’s hard to believe but men can get away with it too, especially when wearing a condom.   

People fake for a number of reasons:

• They don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings or self esteem.
• They are convinced an orgasm is just not going to happen, so why keep trying?
• They aren’t really turned on and just want to be finished.
• They’ve never had an orgasm and feel embarrassed.
• They don’t tell their partner(s) what turns them on and makes them orgasm.

So, is faking wrong? Yes and no.  

One issue with faking is the fact that you’re being dishonest with your partner.  We’re guessing he/she is in the dark about all of this. We also have to assume this person actually wants to provide you with pleasure, but may need a little bit of coaching (more on that later).

The bigger problem with faking is you miss out on all the wonderful/amazing/earth-shattering sensations that come with an orgasm. Unless you want to spend the rest of your sex life unfulfilled and disappointed, you should talk to your partner about what’s going on.

Tips:

• Speak up. Be honest if something isn’t turning you on, especially if it hurts.
• Tell her/him what you like and what works for your body.
• Be present, be in the moment.
• Use a vibrator, with your partner or not, to get going.
• Passion is key.

For another take on faking orgasms, check out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLg1k4I9fqk

Planned Parenthood of Northern New England’s Education Department carefully selects all weekly questions. All questions are actual inquiries made to PPNNE by college-aged students.

Do you have a question you would like to see included?  Ask us anonymously!